Inmypromise White

     Have you ever had a splinter? Have you ever felt the small sliver of wood under your skin? This mild irritation burrows through flesh while one digs to pull it out. The idea of something ideally small has such a large impact. “Because of the extraordinary greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me- to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I am pleased with the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.        Therefore I delight in weaknesses, insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. Recently I heard a message emphasizing how being a part...

     I am the villain in someone’s story. Whether or not I earned the title they have assigned my role is irrelevant. I have been categorized according to their experience. I have been having a hard time coming to grips with this truth. Yet, I have arrived at this location. There were several events and circumstances that forced me to do the reflection needed to come to this conclusion. The primary catalyst was my trying to find a rationalization for someone who hurt me.        Maturing past the point of needing to have closure, but not evolved enough to not need to make sense of it all. In Spite of the fresh scars on my soul I have been challenging myself to figure out the hows and the whys. I dared look at the us objectively. I saw me on the table laid bare with my insides exposed. This type of self surgery is a different type of pain. I have shared with confidantes that power dynamics have little to do with bullying. I know thi...

     When I am going to provide an introspective story with the hope of providing an intimate connection to someone with whom I am conversing; I will preface my statement with, “moment of transparency.” The purpose is to create a safe space for that individual to feel comfortable reciprocating my vulnerability. It also forces me to confront the truth that I am sharing sensitive information that may not be handled correctly once I release it. Only with that space of vulnerability will we both grow from the exchange. I recently heard someone say that we critique people by their actions and critique ourselves by our intentions.        Reflections of both my actions and intentions helped me to narrow the ambiguity between the wounds and kisses of our current year. What if wounds from a friend are filled with the venom of an enemy? Where wounds from a friend may be a blessing according to Proverbs; lips are a faucet from the heart which can pour v...

     Looking at the various forms of life lost celebrated on display around town, shivering from the brisk air drop; I am reminded of the time of year. However, the aisles and aisles of candy remind me of children. Children who are tiny humans; not incomplete people. A conversation with a couple of parents about children having the liberty to express themselves emotionally forced me to analyze my thoughts on the emotional freedom we allow children to exert. This conversation lingered with me after I walked away because as an adult; majority of the emotional healing that has taken place in my life was delayed because of my emotional blockage from childhood. Being human enough to have the full brunt of painful situations knock you down, but not having a healthy space to process those experiences is a serious disservice to children. Our children go through the ups and downs that we go through on our roads across triumph, distress, failure, or sudden surprise....

     What if Job knew that he was a guinea pig in the LORD’s sociology project with the devil? This concept of your life being an animated presentation of the LORD’s handy work. We could hover the key points in Job’s life or, the disciple’s like a Prezi hover overflow. Drafting an epistle chronicling the testimonies that had manifested on the path to their destination. Like Paul who cried out to the LORD about the thorn in his side. While the LORD replied “HIS grace was sufficient;” so we could look to Paul’s walk for insight into our struggles. Could it be that only the experiences that negatively affect us are the lessons needed to learn how to move forward?             Would Job have behaved differently? I looked back to see how Job responded to his situation. Similar to a lot of believers, he worshipped. Tried and tested believers do not lose their nerve at the first sight of trouble. Yet, as the trial drags on th...

     What if Job knew that he was a guinea pig in the LORD’s sociology project with the devil? This concept of your life being an animated presentation of the LORD’s handy work. We could hover the key points in Job’s life or the disciples like a Prezi hover overflow. Drafting an epistle chronicling the testimonies that had manifested on the path to their destination. Like Paul who cried out to the LORD about the thorn in his side. While the LORD replied HIS grace was sufficient; so we could look to Paul’ s walk for insight into our struggles. Could it be that only the experiences that negatively effect us are the lessons needed to learn how to move forward? Would Job have behaved differently? I looked back to see how Job responded to his situation. Similar to a lot of believers, he worshipped. Tried and tested believers do not lose their nerve at the first sight of trouble.        Yet, as the trial drags on that unspoken expiration...

     Heads or tails? Life and death are two sides of the same coin. Why does it seem like death is being celebrated in the media? All these images force me to watch depictions of my heart beating outside of my chest. Every day we are informed of the death toll increase. At the time these strokes grace my keys the Texas number of confirmed Covid cases is 432,000 and 6,991 deaths. Not as much emphasis is placed on the recoveries. We see countless pictures of hospitals and doctors with makeshift personal protective equipment but, few smiling faces of the 260,542 people who held on to life long enough to share the love of those they believe are worth fighting death to see again.             This barrage of death got me to thinking about how humans place value on life. How does one measure life? What is a life worth? Covid is not the introduction of death but, it forces everyone to have a conversation with themselves about the...

     Why are men not afforded the same time to process, heal, and grow from emotional trauma?  Do they not give it to themselves?  Is the stigma too great?  Is there an overarching societal oppression hindering them from being able to be vulnerable?  The newfound intentional awareness the answer to all these questions is a resounding, yes.  This fact weighed heavy on my heart today.  I had a “When I looked back over my life, and I think things over,” kind of day.  I marveled at how I have been kept.  HE kept me ; has been on repeat in my heart.  Why is it as a female I can declare this welcomed with grace, love, and encouragement?  While a man is expected to shoulder through?   So many challenges on the internet I issue a challenge to acknowledge men in your life.  Tell men in your life that you appreciate the role they play in your life.  I choose to acknowledge my brothers.  These men have impac...