Inmypromise White

     Life lessons are like high school. We have multiple professors and multiple exams. Two months of 2018 and two classes passed. (Not mastered 🙃). One has been repeated for years. There is not a doubt in my mind that as the year unfolds more lessons will continue to present themselves. The older I get; the more I realize my real eyes are just now being formed. I can use phrases like, "Keep on living" and "I ain't never" in the same exchange. Some lessons we learn to teach. Some lessons we learn from others. Some lessons we learn through experience; and some lessons are visual aids. Three dimensional caricatured parables acted out by surrendered servants for divine tutelage. We being human tend to be midway through our lessons before we decide to categorize it.        Perhaps in the cloak of darkness because our natural eyes see no sun, we assume the Son is also hidden? So, here I am in a moment of reflection breaking down these pa...

     Failures in life and relationships will take place but, I can always pick myself up again. I have noticed that my most drastic changes and advancements took place when I was angry about the situation I am in. The problem with this is that I usually needed to move forward prior to the catalyst kicked in. However, I wallowed in misery because I was comfortable. Not that the misery was pleasurable but, I had a strong tie to dysfunction. In this season of my life I am intentionally taking time to evaluate why I stay in situations long after I should have departed and, why I do not love myself enough to shift because it needs be done but, rather allow myself to be pushed out.         And one day she.... This time introspection has been rewarding and painful at the same time. Feeling the shift in to better while being unsettled. Like regaining my footing as the glacier beneath me moves. Yet, like that slab of ice the lies passed down lik...

     YOU never failed me yet... i fail YOU day by day.... minute by minute. Worship is a participation activity and, i need to sub out. The words cut my throat in route to my lips. Drowning in hypocrisy a float by grace. Ducking behind corners running from YOU while carrying YOU with me. Then, stings my heart, my SAVIOR calls to me. I keep picking up chains placing my arms in the sleeve. Like stay woke messages i have spent so much time in bondage it was my safe place. I am protected from joy and peace. Liberty dare not show her face. Out of chaos i emerge with the appearance of glee. Dawn break but, my morning joy is choked out by the pollution mincing the joy of my salvation. Remembering the days of our walks like mirages in this desert land.       If you are sitting on the lap of the LORD, wallowing in HIS perfect will these words very likely could have inspired visions of people you identify as being in a backslidden state. If you are sittin...

     The major events that Mary saw her SON do in the Bible were hid in her heart. I believe it is because she didn’t have a space or, a person with capacity to hold them. Perhaps there was someone to listen but, not truly appreciate them. Possibly there was someone to hear but, not leave without a nagging desire for the same experience. No person selfless enough to not compare notes as she spoke. It takes a specific intention of availability to provide space for someone to share the hidden experiences of their heart. A great vulnerability we are warned to guard well because of the life that pours from it. It is what comes out of a person’s mouth not, what is put in.       In such a selfish world very few people have an objective sounding board in the form of a person to share their passions, fears, hopes, and joys. In the event you have one. Don’t take them for granted but, most importantly don’t in trust their treasure chest of space more t...

     The innocence of childhood allows for the canvas to be revealed more clearly. "Out of the mouth of babes" yields more revelational wisdom than merely the words children speak. The very lives, essence, experiences, practices of children give insight and, change perspectives living life while in relationship with the Living GOD. See over yonder? The group of children playing a game of hide and seek. The sizes vary, skill sets range, but they have an agreement. Truths universally accepted collectively needing very little extended explanation. The goal is simple. Maneuver through the field and make it to base. There is safety, protection, immunity on base.        These evangelicalistic words spread in the current of the winds. Be it East or West Coast there is an assurance at your neighborhood playground base is safe. As these same children grow they realize sometimes during the maneuvers the desire to get caught arrives. The o...

To love is to leave the grip of pain. This wrestle has never been with an outside person but, within; choosing to tolerate injury. i love GOD more than myself. Left to my own devices I too hurt jeanine. I hurt her with my silence as she screams for help. I have to be submitted to the CHRIST in me to experience in order to press into the hope of glory; if there is to be any hope for the future. Now, to maintain that stance. Fortifying my walls because the last few scrimmages came from friendly fire. Learning to better screen the knocks at the door in my new residence. Learning. Learning the balance between loving self and dying to self. Learning how to love someone else as i learn how to practice self care. Always one to leave my heart, experience, journey on the page. My heart is the vile of ink telling the unraveling tale of greatness through redemption. No longer marooned on the island my blurred thoughts attempted to leave me stranded on. Walking away from his ...

From the threshold of my stronghold I look out at the curious wonders of the outside. I think about how people comfort themselves who don't have CHRIST. i believe it is reminiscent to people who have been to heaven and, no longer appreciate the world around them. Today, I rest in my stronghold anchored from my womb. I hear whispers of assurances, reminded of promises, provided a place where I don't have to be vulnerable because HE just knows... Knows where it hurts, why it hurts, knows how to make the hurt disappear. Not without some learning that is ongoing for myself the challenge is that this same Wonderful, Loving, FATHER, wants me to love people. i want to please my FATHER. I have read that without faith it is impossible to please GOD. Jesus gave us two commands: To love GOD and love people. i love GOD, i love people but, i do not always allow people to love me. Why? I am glad you asked. People hurt. We commonly hurt the people we love; primarily bec...