Renewing My Vows to Self

To love is to leave the grip of pain. This wrestle has never been with an outside person but, within; choosing to tolerate injury. i love GOD more than myself. Left to my own devices I too hurt jeanine. I hurt her with my silence as she screams for help. I have to be submitted to the CHRIST in me to experience in order to press into the hope of glory; if there is to be any hope for the future. Now, to maintain that stance. Fortifying my walls because the last few scrimmages came from friendly fire. Learning to better screen the knocks at the door in my new residence. Learning. Learning the balance between loving self and dying to self. Learning how to love someone else as i learn how to practice self care. Always one to leave my heart, experience, journey on the page. My heart is the vile of ink telling the unraveling tale of greatness through redemption. No longer marooned on the island my blurred thoughts attempted to leave me stranded on. Walking away from his casket realizing the last of my earthly roots had broken and, pieces blew in the wind. My foundation is not made of flesh and blood. No weapon formed against me has prospered. The war inside is just beginning because my quest for self discipline is my greatest foe yet. Learning to guard my heart and protect my soul (heart, conscience, mind, and emotions). My neighbors are about to be loved better than ever because on the other side of this lesson will be a person who truly loves herself.

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