Inmypromise White

     YOU never failed me yet... i fail YOU day by day.... minute by minute. Worship is a participation activity and, i need to sub out. The words cut my throat in route to my lips. Drowning in hypocrisy a float by grace. Ducking behind corners running from YOU while carrying YOU with me. Then, stings my heart, my SAVIOR calls to me. I keep picking up chains placing my arms in the sleeve. Like stay woke messages i have spent so much time in bondage it was my safe place. I am protected from joy and peace. Liberty dare not show her face. Out of chaos i emerge with the appearance of glee. Dawn break but, my morning joy is choked out by the pollution mincing the joy of my salvation. Remembering the days of our walks like mirages in this desert land.       If you are sitting on the lap of the LORD, wallowing in HIS perfect will these words very likely could have inspired visions of people you identify as being in a backslidden state. If you are sitting in a backslidden state those wor

     The major events that Mary saw her SON do in the Bible were hid in her heart. I believe it is because she didn’t have a space or, a person with capacity to hold them. Perhaps there was someone to listen but, not truly appreciate them. Possibly there was someone to hear but, not leave without a nagging desire for the same experience. No person selfless enough to not compare notes as she spoke. It takes a specific intention of availability to provide space for someone to share the hidden experiences of their heart. A great vulnerability we are warned to guard well because of the life that pours from it. It is what comes out of a person’s mouth not, what is put in.       In such a selfish world very few people have an objective sounding board in the form of a person to share their passions, fears, hopes, and joys. In the event you have one. Don’t take them for granted but, most importantly don’t in trust their treasure chest of space more than the celestial ocean of safety

     The innocence of childhood allows for the canvas to be revealed more clearly. "Out of the mouth of babes" yields more revelational wisdom than merely the words children speak. The very lives, essence, experiences, practices of children give insight and, change perspectives living life while in relationship with the Living GOD. See over yonder? The group of children playing a game of hide and seek. The sizes vary, skill sets range, but they have an agreement. Truths universally accepted collectively needing very little extended explanation. The goal is simple. Maneuver through the field and make it to base. There is safety, protection, immunity on base.        These evangelicalistic words spread in the current of the winds. Be it East or West Coast there is an assurance at your neighborhood playground base is safe. As these same children grow they realize sometimes during the maneuvers the desire to get caught arrives. The one running, searching, seekin

To love is to leave the grip of pain. This wrestle has never been with an outside person but, within; choosing to tolerate injury. i love GOD more than myself. Left to my own devices I too hurt jeanine. I hurt her with my silence as she screams for help. I have to be submitted to the CHRIST in me to experience in order to press into the hope of glory; if there is to be any hope for the future. Now, to maintain that stance. Fortifying my walls because the last few scrimmages came from friendly fire. Learning to better screen the knocks at the door in my new residence. Learning. Learning the balance between loving self and dying to self. Learning how to love someone else as i learn how to practice self care. Always one to leave my heart, experience, journey on the page. My heart is the vile of ink telling the unraveling tale of greatness through redemption. No longer marooned on the island my blurred thoughts attempted to leave me stranded on. Walking away from his

From the threshold of my stronghold I look out at the curious wonders of the outside. I think about how people comfort themselves who don't have CHRIST. i believe it is reminiscent to people who have been to heaven and, no longer appreciate the world around them. Today, I rest in my stronghold anchored from my womb. I hear whispers of assurances, reminded of promises, provided a place where I don't have to be vulnerable because HE just knows... Knows where it hurts, why it hurts, knows how to make the hurt disappear. Not without some learning that is ongoing for myself the challenge is that this same Wonderful, Loving, FATHER, wants me to love people. i want to please my FATHER. I have read that without faith it is impossible to please GOD. Jesus gave us two commands: To love GOD and love people. i love GOD, i love people but, i do not always allow people to love me. Why? I am glad you asked. People hurt. We commonly hurt the people we love; primarily bec

The street light just came on. The fluorescent glow casts a giant golden circle in the street. On the perimeter of that circle lies the unknown. No real danger but, the potential for danger. The unknown is not really unkown. Knowing has a lot to do with experience. That street light was a signal for many of us to return home. Sure we were safe under the glow of the bulb but, we were intimately familiar with those potential dangers. Our parents who had experienced life call us to “come inside”. Most of us would not dare think to refuse. This invitation represented safety, warmth of a home, laughter around the television, table, or fireplace. This command was the essence of our comfort in the form of late night medicine, soothing scrapes, and bruises. It wasn’t the command that beckoned us to retire. It was the person behind the command. Though it was an imperative statement. There was a plea, a petition to let those maternal or paternal arms protect us. We respond to th

I've made you Saul placing your armor on me because I've seen fruit in your life and, in order to see those trees in my garden; I had to garden the way you garden. I've made you my brothers in the battle giving a list of opinions and, insights interpreted as suggestions or directives. For years when I wanted Godly relationships more than I wanted GOD, these templates were sufficient. Molds laid out for me to choose and, apply as needed. But, I was created to be creative. There is now fruit on my tree. I have a hybrid crop of vegetation sprouting. You never called yourself Saul. You never saw yourself as the brothers who questioned David's validity. Yet, the approval rate of my previous proposals all the met the predetermined templates. The only complaints, concerns, and red flags fell on the potential harvests I planted. Now, here I stand in front of goliath with a slingshot and, a rock. This isn't the wisest choice when you have the history of the a

My Mother used to used to say the phrase, “ on the strength of.” This made think of faith and how we apply it in our lives. I believe the deeper meaning is the grace of a situation. I believe every, experience, endeavor, journey has a designated amount of grace. The grace to endure. The grace to withstand. On the strength of grace we have enough patience for the temporary in- laws living in the home. The embodiment of peace surpassing understanding. Grace gives that extra endurance when a single mother takes on a degree plan while working full time. The extra time when a father is dropping off kids and, keeping business meetings. As we walk into March; I challenge you to start acknowledging the grace you operate in our daily lives. Like daily bread, only getting the portion needed. This revelation is the reason we must seize each opportunity because like you cannot have winter in the summer you cannot get a moment back once it’s season of grace has lifted. It will come aro

     I once heard a man of GOD say in the seasons of our lives to find someone in the Word of GOD who went through our situation in order to build strategy to navigate out of the current situation. I have taken this to heart in my life. I now realize that because I am too lax on myself I use the wrong examples at the wrong times. I have learned that lack of self discipline counteracts the application of these great lesson legacies. Meaning the times in my life when I should have been anticipating my walk to Golgotha in consecration I was hanging with the children of Israel laughing at the golden calf. See, because I was not building the calf I thought I was safe. No one wants to be Joseph sleep in the side of the mountain waiting. Everyone can not bear the mantle of being Moses face to face with GOD.        This brings us to our current stage. How do we determine the season we are currently in? I have learned in my own life I am all three. The balance is to not stay in one

     If home is where the heart is; where does the wandering heart find home? If all growth is born from adversity then that wandering heart is in for a great outcome. This is the tale I shared with my heart. On the tail end of the closing of one year to the gaping hole of polarized images that bombared eyes by monopolizing newsfeeds galore. As I come up for air I like the toy in the arcade look for the large claw from the heavens to pluck me from the rest and take me into the unknown. I find my home in CHRIST. In times like these when the world around me matches the aesthetics of the world that was once inside me I turn to the age old remedy that pulled me through then. My heart wandered because of love loss to betrayal, death, ignorance, and self loathing. Now, my heart wanders because of love hidden, chaos, and mistrust. I am a reminded that I have a FRIEND that is closer than a brother. I find my home in the only Living GOD. Please feel free to share Him if you like. There is more