Inmypromise White

Step right up! Step right up! Here for one night only see the juggling woman act. The conductor projects in the crowded room. Here she goes........ balancing the career, ambition, and business on three plates. The awe flows through the crowd. Now, behold her lift one leg and, push the button of peaceful balance. Wait for it.... A discreet servant slides in a ball for her to stand on with her remaining leg that she lands on gently coming down from a quick hop. Laugh out loud at myself this is what I see when I close my eyes to the circus surrounding me. I leap from center stage, and discard my props. I find the nearest secluded rug and I push in. The ringmaster is silenced to my tears that soothe my drumming heart. The lion at the end of the whip has nothing on the roar that escapes from me. The ground around me begins to sway. I hear a song from my spirit. The boisterous gale of a melody cracks the whip on this pompous tent action attempting to overtake me. To my th

The phases of the moon reflect how I once saw it as a parasite. The aching call that I was not ready to respond to or acknowledge. A massive undertaking, a daunting task I was too unworthy to carry out. I held my blanket of fear so close it became my comfort. This idolatrous lifestyle consumed me. I was at the beck and call of fear. I began to show; not intentionally. That which was in, would some how seep. A statement here, an observation there. Over time my blanket became worn. Two forces at once. My greatness was starting to develop, while my fear started to recede. New identity was given and, I became free. . Now, after long pang staking nights of rubbing my well blossomed womb is time. After years of denial, betrayal, disbelief, acceptance, appreciation, and effort. My baby is crowning. I have carried this in my womb for so long. This has been a trying labor. I am not without the assistance of tremendous midwives who stroked my back, scratched my pain, force

Abel cried with his life blood and, thus it is a powerful force. The blood that fills us speaks, and,feels only to empty out. Yet does this blood also control? Does this blood that has the ability to cry out for help also possess the means to dominate us from within? Yes, I am bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh but, I am not controlled by the blood we share. I was engrafted and given a great transfusion. Now my veins though they occasionally war internally understand that my life is controlled by the hemoglobin of my Father. Desensitized though my outer man be to this chaos, rage, and anger. I will not succumb to the temptation to assimilate. I will not fall prey to the desire to respond with such malice. My eyes have seen the aftermath of these exchanges on too many encounters. I weep for the child who witnessed these encounters and, accepted them as the norm. I weep for the impressionable young girl who would gauge all conflict by the life threatening, blood cur