One Dimensional

    Looking at the various forms of life lost celebrated on display around town, shivering from the brisk air drop; I am reminded of the time of year. However, the aisles and aisles of candy remind me of children. Children who are tiny humans; not incomplete people. A conversation with a couple of parents about children having the liberty to express themselves emotionally forced me to analyze my thoughts on the emotional freedom we allow children to exert. This conversation lingered with me after I walked away because as an adult; majority of the emotional healing that has taken place in my life was delayed because of my emotional blockage from childhood. Being human enough to have the full brunt of painful situations knock you down, but not having a healthy space to process those experiences is a serious disservice to children. Our children go through the ups and downs that we go through on our roads across triumph, distress, failure, or sudden surprise. 

     One step further they have their own roads simultaneously as we have our’s stuck in our car for the ride. I recall moments of great vulnerability for my Mother. I imagine that shame and pride forced her to instruct me to “fix my face,” any number of times our socio-economic status caused us to go without. Possibly concluding my expressions of sadness directed at disappointment; somehow was an attack on her efforts to provide. As an adult I can empathize with how she may have felt. As a small human I was not allowed to have my full range of emotions. I was not allowed to be fully human through my emotional response. That encounter was not isolated. I have come to realize that I seldom emote in situations. I see the facts, outcomes, potential losses but, it takes weeks sometimes months for me to feel the situations. The healthy release of emotions impacts so many facets of our lives. We teach children how to cook, clean, nurture their critical thinking, but often in our minority families we are not as intentional about their emotional health. 

     Those consistent experiences with my Mother taught me that we don’t have time for sadness. We have to press forward. New medical advances teach us that multiple health issues start with unprocessed emotion such as unforgiveness or anger. Do we not have the same conviction to teach our children the full range of the experience of not getting that toy in the store? It is the toy today. The internship tomorrow. This is not an attack on parenting styles. We all do the best we can with the information we have at that time. This is a challenge to reflect on how you process emotions. This is a plea as a former small human to provide space for children to feel emotion by not associating their emotional response to a judgement on your parenting style. This is an echo to Mr. Douglas by building emotionally strong children; rather than repairing emotionally inept people. This is a reminder that there is hope because if I can learn to feel, so can you.